I am finally learning to actually believe what I’m told.
Whether it is by what someone says, or by how they treat me.
It is very freeing to no longer pretend someone is my fantasy person, rather than who they really are.
Caring for fantasy people is never healthy and always feels like this.
Here’s an incredible read on Romney – for those interested.
January 2, 2012
I don’t believe in coincidence; never have. After a pretty chaotic and less-than-fulfilling visit with Matt recently during my hip surgery, I received an invitation to this e-course offered by a spiritual teacher I greatly admire – Rabbi Rami Shapiro. Being a panentheist, (Pan means “all,” en means “in” and theos means “God”), means I believe God embraces and transcends all reality. I see Spirit in everything, and I do mean everything; regardless of whether I perceive it as “good or bad”.
Control is one of my many issues. I have a little wall hanging here in the downstairs bathroom that says
“Do not feel totally, personally, irrevocably responsible for everything. That’s my job. Love God.”
I bought it many, many years ago while I was exploring my spiritual path with Claudia. It is a permanent reminder for me of what always having to be in control does to our Spirit.
In any event, given the ‘perfect spiritual storm’ of Matt’s visit and the invitation to explore control issues through this e-course, here’s a snippet of what resonated deeply for me in today’s lesson from Beyond Recovery: The Twelve Steps as Spiritual Practice
Control is the real addiction, the deeper craving. Drinking, drugging, compulsive gambling, over eating, etc., are only symptoms of this hunger for control. They mask the real craving that Twelve Step spirituality really cures…
{snip}
What does it mean to play God? It means to control life. But life cannot be controlled; not your life or my life or anyone’s life. Life can only be lived.
To control life you would have to be outside of it. But you can’t get outside of life. Trying to control life without getting outside of it is like trying to bite your own teeth or hear your own ears. Can’t be done. Life happens and you happen with it. No control, sorry. What you can do is learn to navigate life wisely with compassion, and Twelve Step spirituality will show you how to do that, but control? No way.
{snip}
Twelve Step spirituality is all about liberating you from playing God. And when you are free from playing God you are free to let God play you. This is true of all genuine spiritual systems, even those that use some other word than “God.”
{snip}
……the only way to reveal the Truth is to have the ego pursue the opposite of Truth until the point of exhaustion.
I’m going to embrace my own exhaustion and continue exploring my Truth.
January 4, 2012
Here are the things that resonated most deeply with today’s lesson.
Being powerless is only a problem if you think you ought to be powerful. Not being in control is a problem only if you think you ought to be in control.
And this:
Elohai neshamah sh’natatabi t’hora he
My God, the soul you place with me is pure.
I’m using the above prayer when I meditate with my amethyst prayer beads.
Here is how the Hebrew is pronounced:
My God, the soul you place within me is pure. And because it is pure I am free to live today differently than yesterday. Because it is free, I am free to live today without the burden of past habits, past fears, past mistakes, and past failures. I am free to look at my past without repeating it; to examine it for lessons to be learned and amends to be made; and to draw from it what guidance I can to live today differently. My God, may I use today’s gift of freedom to further my capacity to serve You by serving Your creation with justice, compassion, and humility.
The soul, neshamah in Hebrew, refers to that dimension of yourself that is pure and free from conditioning. It is not the ego, but that part of you that is aware of the Greater Reality of which you are a part. This neshamah isn’t addicted to control, to playing God, or to anything else. This neshamah doesn’t play God because it knows it is God — just not all of God. The neshamah is the wave’s awareness that it is the ocean, or, better, that the ocean is it.
You are God, or if you prefer, God is you.
January 5, 2012
Surrender………….
Early after my surgery I found myself mourning the loss of the ‘old me’. A lack of control of everything that was happening sent me into the depths of depression. As I surrendered to letting the ‘old me’ go, the depression lifted.
I now find myself excited about the ‘new me’ and my ‘new normal’.
Surrendering to Life has its advantage.
January 6, 2012
Step 3 of the 12 can be paraphrased to say We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
In my own spiritual journey, I can trace the development of my spirituality quite clearly. As I intellectually matured, I began to question the whole idea of God and I especially detested the idea that there is “one true religion” or path to God as espoused by so many Christian denominations. Spiritual chaos ensued within me and it wasn’t until I connected with God directly that it became clear.
I went on a silent retreat at a Roman Catholic monastery one summer while my sons were visiting their dad in Texas. After being reminded that I wasn’t welcome at Communion via a sign in their church, I lashed out at God. I was stomping through the gardens literally raging at the injustice of it all when a voice as clear as my own said “that’s why I need you”. I broke down in tears and decided that I was going to pursue my own spiritual path. I would go wherever Spirit led.
Here’s what resonated most deeply in today’s lesson:
Any idea you have about God is simply your idea of God. It isn’t God. This is why every theological system is self-serving and self-validating. Can you imagine God in the Hebrew Bible NOT choosing the Jews and giving them the Land of Israel? Can you imagine a Gospel in the New Testament that reveals Mary Magdalene rather than Jesus as the Christ? Can you imagine Gabriel telling Mohammad in the Qur’an that Allah isn’t God? Of course not. Each system supports itself. Every religion affirms the god of its own understanding, the god of its own imagining, which is why every god prefers the religion that imagines it over those that don’t.
So much turmoil in the world can be traced back to conflict between religions. It’s mind boggling to me how we are so stuck in this.
It is why I can’t bring myself to affiliate with any particular church or institutional religion – and yet I long for a community of like-minded individuals to share this journey.
So many Life Lessons.
January 7, 2012
How to be authentic and free while exploring your spiritual path has been a theme for me since I can remember. It is natural to want to hang out with like minded individuals but that seems so dull. I want and need to be challenged – it’s what fuels my intellectual and spiritual curiosity.
One of the most ethical and just individuals I’ve come to know is an atheist – and I deeply admire him. He challenges me in every way and I’m a better person (and my spiritual path has deepened) for having him in my life.
Reading through the practice circle entries for my e-course has been so very eye opening for me. I admit that initially I thought I wouldn’t be very interested in the whole “practice circle” approach but in my surrender to the process I have been very pleasantly surprised.
From Rabbi Rami’s practice circle sharing today:
If a spiritual path is authentic, and I believe 12 Step spirituality is just that, it must free you from itself as well. Any system that keeps you in the system is just offering another addiction in exchange for the one you wish to drop. Granted some addictions may be more benign than others, but living without addiction is better still. Once you are free from all systems you are free to adopt any system that works for you. Or more than one.
More than one indeed. While my spiritual history is within Christianity, I’ve always felt I’d make a terrific Buddhist. Of course, Kabbalah has also been an intriguing chapter on my path. Recently, exploring Rosicrucianism has been spiritually fulfilling as well.
January 12, 2012
Our lives reflect each and every choice we’ve made, whether we want to acknowledge that or not.
Thus, I have difficulty embracing an “impersonal reality”. I am willing to own all of my own choices and thus I accept my life as it is. Could I have made different choices? Of course. But that’s not the point.
Life Lessons are mandatory, the learning is always optional.
What I’ve come to realize is that if we choose to ignore a Life Lesson, we are assured to have another opportunity – either in this life, or the next.
I just love God’s sense of humor.
Spiritual consciousness – e.g. that which allows us to be aware of the Life Lesson prior to our chosen response – is something that develops as one matures along their chosen spiritual path. Life Lessons are easily identified in hind sight – alternative choices as well. But oh to be so spiritually aware of the Life Lesson in the moment – that is my goal.
Self-awareness is the key. I’ve become pretty good at identifying Life Lessons in retrospect; not so good at seeing them in the moment.
I suppose that is a good first step.
January 18, 2012
Growing up in a schizophrenic-Christian environment, I’m somewhat amazed that I found my spiritual path at all. As an infant, my father had to sneak me out of the house to be baptized at the St. Ignatius Catholic Church. Then at eight when they divorced, my mom’s family got the Mormons to take us to the Mormon church every Sunday. Then Mom wised up (a bit at least) and sent us to a generic Christian church.
Whew………….
But I found God in the ocean and in the sky. My Soul deeply connected to I AM in mystical and profound ways.
Of course, at sixteen I became ‘born again’ and ostracized everyone within 50 yards because of my zealousness.
Running away from home, betrayal by those I loved, led me deeper into my own spiritual journey.
Contemplating seminary and becoming an Episcopal priest led me into spiritual direction with Claudia for ten years and my spiritual journey deepened.
This is what resonated with me in today’s lesson.
We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
If Step Seven did its job you are pretty much done with god as you understand God. It turns out that your Higher Power is just your ego pretending to be God. All that work turning your will and your life over to something that you invented just proved to be so much self-delusion. But don’t think this was a waste of time. On the contrary, it was the best use of your time.
The Twelve Steps are not arbitrary. They are a well-designed system for spiritual awakening. “It works if you work it.” Most of us don’t work it. Most of us expect the Steps to work by themselves, and to leave us pretty much in tack. But that isn’t spiritual practice. Spiritual practice crucifies you before it resurrects you.
January 24, 2012
We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
What? Back to God again? And still the god of our understanding? Have we learned nothing?
{snip}
In all of my spiritual meandering, I’ve learned at least one thing that is consistent in each spiritual tradition – the importance of meditation/prayer/centering.
Today’s lesson is very, very familiar – and resonated deeply.
Sit comfortably in a chair. Close your eyes if you like, but if you do you will have to have a friend read these instructions to you. Or you may want to record them and play them back when you are sitting.
As you sit in the chair, notice you are sitting in the chair. Notice the weight of your body, how it feels in the chair, where your arms rest, and how your back and neck feel. Now notice that the one who is noticing the body isn’t the body. The one who is aware of your body in the chair isn’t itself in the chair. It isn’t anywhere, for everywhere you look it is aware of you looking there, and so must be somewhere else. This awareness of the body is you. You have a body, but you are not limited to that body.
Now become aware of your thoughts and feelings. See how they rise and fall in your awareness. You may be feeling angry or calm, you may be thinking this exercise is interesting or stupid, but whatever you are feeling and thinking, the you that is aware of these feelings and thoughts isn’t those feelings and thoughts. This “you” may be aware of anger, but it isn’t angry. This “you” may be aware of annoyance, but it isn’t annoyed. This awareness is the greater you; the free you; the you that isn’t playing God. You have a mind, but you are not limited to that mind.
Now notice that when you notice this noticing there is an awareness that is noticing it and hence not the object of noticing at all. A “you” behind the you that notices; a God behind the god of your understanding. Whenever you make noticing an object of awareness, notice that there is a greater field of awareness embracing it all. This is the real you, the unconditioned and unconditional you.
This you isn’t Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Sikh, Baha’i, atheist, agnostic, Republican, Democrat, Independent, Libertarian, male, female, gay, straight, bi-sexual, transgendered, or anything else. It isn’t even you as you understand you. In fact you can’t even say what it is or isn’t, because it cannot be made into an object at all. It is eternal subject. It has no chosen people, it saves and damns no one, it respects no nation or tribe or land over any other. It simply sees. It neither births nor dies. It just . . . well we can’t say. This isn’t the god of your understanding, it is simply God. And it is you.
It’s been 9 days since surgery and I’ve decided to log my progress.
I confess to being very depressed the last few days – am not sure why – it’s just the way it is right now.
I need to be more disciplined about doing my post op exercises so that is my goal now. Post-op exercises AT LEAST two times per day, preferably three if possible.
In addition, I’m going to do laps around the lower level of the house. I did five today and hope to increase that to 10 within the next two weeks.
I’ll be tracking it all here – just for future reference.
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December 29, 2011
I discovered Bonessmart and joined the patient forum. What a wonderful group of people who have/are sharing a similar journey!
16 stitches removed today. Exhausted by trip to Seattle to see doctor, then lunch with Matt. Matt was very cold and distant – which really hurt. He’s here helping me out of a sense of obligation rather than genuine love. It’s so very sad what has happened to our relationship.
We stopped at the store and I got a bath mat for my tub and handle support for the tub. Now I think I pretty much have everything I need now to really begin figuring out my new ‘normal’.
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December 30, 2011
Had quite a bit of weepiness and general pity party type of stuff going on yesterday. Matt is leaving and it’s so hard to accept that he is no longer part of our daily lives. I miss the relationship I had with him so very much. And here I go crying again……
Geeze…….. sometimes I think someone needs to just shoot me and put me out of my misery.
Sitting in my chair, realizing how much I’m responsible for with this house and everything………. it’s overwhelming because I can’t do anything now. I can barely get myself showered and dressed for crying out loud.
I need to get out of this space somehow.
UPDATE – Dec 30th early evening. Clawing my way out of the emotional darkness, I realize I have to somehow get control over everything I’m feeling. Matt and I clearly have a lot of emotional work to do to get across the emotional chasm we have between us. Good news! He’s agreed to a monthly Skype conversation beginning in February!
The other update is I was able to shower today – all by myself. Matt installed a shower grab bar which allowed me to get in and out of the tub/shower myself. I didn’t even have to use the sit down chair! (small victories are so my goal right now).
Also, I scheduled my first PT visit for next Thursday and may be picking up a recumbent exercise bike this weekend. In the Bonessmart forum I joined, I saw quite a few hip replacement patients who really benefited from regular recumbent bike exercise.
I’m determined to come through this and learn whatever damn Life Lessons I’m supposed to. But at this point, it will be cold day in hell before I have the other one done (and yes, the doc says it will need it too).
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December 31, 2011
Because my OS has said I have ‘no restrictions’, there’s a huge part of me that feels I should be doing more. I am trying to remind myself that my body has been through MAJOR surgery and I still need to take care of me for a while. Which means lots of rest and naps.
I have been able to shower without assistance – standing up too – so that felt good. Still longing for a nice hot bath though.
I also slept in my own bed last night (rather than the recliner downstairs). Was surprised to find it still to be a challenge for me – given I’m a side sleeper. Definitely can’t sleep on my right side at all yet but was able to lay for about 30 minutes on my left side with a knee pillow.
I found that really the only way I was comfortable enough to sleep for an extended period was to put a pillow under my right knee so that it was slightly elevated. All of this is sure progress from the first night home trying to sleep in the bed and /FAILING miserably.
Took about a 100 yard stroll down my driveway and to the round-a-bout and back. Noticed a little bit of a ‘click’ kind of feeling in my new joint but not with every time – just when I noticed I wasn’t walking as tall as I could have. Used a cane on one side and my youngest son’s arm on the other, primarily for balance until I get confidence in this brand spanking new hip.
We then went for our usual Saturday errand running and it felt good just to get out of the house and do something ‘normal’. I did drive (which made Ryan a bit nervous) but it was easy peasy.
All and all I’m making good progress so far.
Hoping with starting physical therapy next week, things will really start falling into their new ‘normal’.
PS – It’s New Year’s Eve and clearly I’m not going dancing sooooo…………..
I’m splurging on some good Thai food (which Ryan is picking up for me) and watching CNN.
May all reading this find health, peace and happiness in 2012!!!
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January 1, 2012
I’ve gone and done a bad thing today; I really should NOT be doing housework of any kind and just resting and walking around the house occasionally. Yet, because I’ve felt so much better I couldn’t resist cleaning the family room (now officially occupied by our Pug family members) as well as doing some laundry and the dishes. My incision area ached all day and I have some swelling around it – for the very first time since my surgery.
I’ve got a nice ice pack going with my legs up now and Ryan says he will finish the laundry.
I guess this is to be expected; two steps forward and three steps back seems to be the story of my life when faced with having to nurture myself and rest.
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January 2, 2012
For the first time since surgery, I woke up this morning and noticed that I felt 100% better than I use to feel upon awakening pre-surgery!! The stiffness and pain that I had grown so accustomed to was gone!!
And while I’m not really dancing, it’s clear that I’m solidly on the recovery road to a better life! And that’s why I did this.
I also started my spiritual e-course today. You can read more about that here if you’re interested.
Spent most of the day reading, relaxing and digging deeply into my spiritual journey. Trying hard not to do what I did yesterday.
Energy and stamina is still very low. Working hard to build up my strength by allowing proper healing to occur.
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January 3, 2012
Well…. another milestone for me today.
With my incision fully healed, I ran a nice hot bath and soaked all my cares away! I have a nice, deep tub which leaves me quite buoyant so getting out was easy peezy.
And my new temporary housekeeper starts tomorrow. 
And when my mechanic shop heard about my surgery, they are picking up my car for service and returning it to me to save me the trip.
Feeling quite accomplished at the moment. Am still taking it very easy as I know I’m prone to overdue things. The bath itself was quite exhausting (probably because I was fretting about it so much!) so I’m going to take a nap and watch a little television.
After a brief rest, I went for a walk today too. By myself and no cane or anything. Went a little further than before but was pretty darn tired when I got back.
I also got my first disability check today so I drove to the credit union ATM and then stopped by the store to get a new mop. And darned if I didn’t need to use the electronic shopping cart.
Never, ever did I imagine using one of those. I now have so much empathy for anyone who does.
Slowly but surely, I’m healing.
Found out that I run out of EIB (extended illness bank) and PTO (paid time off) the week of the 16th so it’s back to work for me part time beginning that week. I can’t afford to live on the 60% of my salary that my short term disability coverage provides. Hopefully my stamina will have returned by then.
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January 4, 2012
No real big milestones today; rained pretty much all day. The car did get to the shop and at first they couldn’t find Matt’s Angel of Dreams medallion. After a bit more looking, they located it. Whew….. I’m so relieved they found it for him – I know it means a lot to him.
I started to go see a movie but when I got there, they had technical difficulties and cancelled the showing. Took that to be a direct message from On High that I had no business being out and about like that soooooo……. I came home.
My appetite is back – that’s a double edged sword.
Physical therapy starts tomorrow; am excited about seeing how that goes.
Sleeping is still hit and miss. Can’t sleep for very long on my side and that’s how I like to sleep. I’m sure that will get better over time.
Very blessed to participate in Beyond Recovery: The 12 Steps As Spiritual Practice Am tracking what resonates with that here.
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January 5, 2012, 12:45 AM
Early AM on the 5th and I’m gripped with insomnia. I read somewhere that going off pain medication can cause that so I’m wondering if I’m not doing myself any favors by not taking my pain meds? While I can definitely say I’m not pain free, I just don’t feel right taking the pain meds the way they are prescribed if the pain is tolerable? I do have a high threshold for pain which I think is not helping me right now.
I NEED SLEEP
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January 5, 2012, 4:00 PM
Took two pain pills and finally fell asleep about 2 AM. Physical therapy went well. Right gluteous muscles are very weak and I learned some exercises to help strengthen those. I also might have an irritated tendon in my right groin. The fun never ends.
Saw a movie (“Girl With The Dragon Tattoo”) after physical therapy and then shipped a box off to Matt.
I’m exhausted.
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January 6, 2012, 4:00 PM
Ryan has today off so we decided to make it a movie marathon day. We had lunch at Johnny Rockets. My mechanic – Central Avenue Automotive – gave me a gift certificate for Regal so we decided to see Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol and Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. Both were pretty good.
I came home and took a nice hot bath. All in all it was a really nice day, especially nice to see movies with Ryan again.
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January 7, 2012, 4:00 PM
No real milestones today although I did sleep until 10:30 AM with closing my window blinds and bathroom door (that prevents the daylight from streaming in and is what I ‘normally’ do on the weekends).
Ryan and I installed the replacement printer but I still have to set up the wireless printing connection. Stamina is better than a week ago but no where near normal.
New dog gate arrived but will have to wait until tomorrow to install.
Fell asleep in recliner with head leaning on bent arm; ugh……… arm felt stiff and tingly as if it had fallen asleep itself.
Going to bed early tonight so I can try and catch up on the missed sleep from the nights of insomnia last week.
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January 8, 2012, 4:00 PM
New dog gate installed – with Ryan’s patient help. Much easier for me to get down to the family/laundry/downstairs bath rooms.
Still very, very tired. Taking a hot bath and going to bed early tonight. One more week of rest before I have to return to work.
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January 10, 2012, 4:00 PM
Am in the fourth week post surgery and for some reason I’m struggling a bit.
I know I should be walking more but I find it difficult to get going.
Not sure what this is all about.
Today I need to deposit my second disability check and get a birthday card for my sister.
I also hate my hair color so I may have to fix that before returning to work.
Trying hard not to be a burden to anyone.
UPDATE 8:15 PM – I am having quite a bit of pain in my right groin area. Appears I may have Iliopsoas Tendinitis which occurs relatively often following hip surgery from what I understand. I think getting in and out of my BMW makes it worse so no more driving that car for me for a while.
Got a refill on my pain meds yesterday so at least I can get some relief.
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January 11, 2012, 4:00 PM
With the pain in my groin dissipating, I made a point of taking it very easy today. Only did a few stretches to be sure I don’t continue to aggravate it.
Mentally preparing to go back to work – part time (and from home) next Monday.
All in all I think I’m doing quite well.
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January 12, 2012, 4:00 PM
Three weeks and three days post surgery and I styled my hair for the first time after washing it. Previously I have just washed it and let it dry naturally curly – which isn’t my best look for sure. I also took the time to put on makeup for the first time as well. Amazing how much better I feel.
Went to Covington to send my sister’s package with all of my Dad’s photos digitized. Sent a note to an old friend I found online – am hoping it’s the right old friend! LOL
Sun is out so I went for a walk today; walking further than I have before. Trying to gradually build up my stamina as well as my leg and hip muscles. Am hoping I don’t aggravate my iliopsoas tendinitis.
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January 13, 2012
Groin pain seems to be subsiding. Trying to avoid movements that cause my right leg muscles to feel strained as that seems to cause it to flare up.
Couldn’t fall asleep so I ended up channel surfing until 3 AM. ugh………….
I’ve never, ever had a problem sleeping but for whatever reason, find myself lying in bed, flipping through tv channels trying to get to sleep. Last night I finally slipped off around 3 AM.
What’s so scary to me about it is I simply can’t function without a minimum of six hours sleep and I’m suppose to start back to work on Tuesday. Yes, it is only four hours a day and I’ll be working from home the first week, but I really need to figure out this insomnia issue so I can function.
I’m thinking it’s because I’m just lying/sitting around most of the time trying to allow my body to heal. I’m use to working myself to near exhaustion with either work related projects or house maintenance/improvement projects. Wish I could say I’m an exercise fanatic of some sort but the truth is, the only exercise I’ve ever enjoyed is riding my bike and that’s just not possible now until I have more confidence in my new hip and the weather improves.
Patience has never been a strong point for me, and it’s what I need most now.
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January 16, 2012
Four weeks ago today I had my hip surgery. Start back to work part time from home tomorrow. Then easing my way back to full time in the office by Jan 30th. Not because I’m ready, but because I don’t have any more sick/vacation time and I can’t live on 60% of my salary and keep my house.
Sleeping is kind of a hit and miss experience. Some nights I sleep fine; other nights I really struggle to get to sleep.
My hip is sore but tolerable. I’m counting on getting better despite having to go back to work.
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January 17, 2012
First, today is my sister’s birthday – Happy Birthday Regina!
It is also my first official day back to work. Even though I’m working part time and from home, I was pretty much exhausted after my first hour long meeting. Of course, it was with my wonderful staff member who took over many of my responsibilities in my absence so it was filled with all of the usual political challenges but whew……..
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January 17, 18 & 19, 2012
Two days of ER visits; two shoulders dislocated and one seizure for my beloved Ryan. Stress is a major trigger for him and it’s been pretty darn stressful for him at work and then the power failure. I’m sure that’s what caused his seizure. He’s been three months seizure free so we were both pretty disappointed. The orthopedic surgeon won’t fix his shoulders until he’s six months seizure free.
Snow and freezing rain has caused significant chaos. My front yard tree has been pulled up by the roots and is listing something awful. Don’t think it will survive this.
Power out at house this morning (which means no heat); am grateful it was back on when we got home and the heater was going.
Main highway to ER closed completely; took 2 hours to get home from ER today.
I’m effing exhausted.
And Ryan is the bravest Soul I have ever known. He has taught me so much about courage and compassion.
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January 22, 2012
After what truly was a week from hell, Ryan and I were able to get away and see a movie and have lunch at Johnny Rockets. It is something we use to do quite frequently and I’ve missed it so much. It’s one more step on my path to my ‘new normal’.
I neglected to take my meds yesterday and today my iliopsoas tendinitis is flaring up something awful. There’s a lot to be said about being diligent about taking medication – and I’m paying the price today.
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January 23, 2012
Back to the office for the first time tomorrow. I’m driving in (rather than taking the train) primarily because I have quite a bit of work things to take in and, just to give myself every opportunity to ease my way back into the commuter rhythm.
My iliopsoas tendinitis has eased quite a bit which is a good thing.
I will be taking one crutch with me because I tend to limp when I get tired and I have no doubt I’ll be pretty tired after a few hours.
The good news is there have been a few moments in the last two days where I didn’t notice and didn’t think about my hip. I think this is a very good sign.
Saying a prayer for a successful return to work day tomorrow!
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January 24, 2012
First day back in the office. I drove in and took one crutch with me. I made it until 4:00 PM before I was totally exhausted.
It was good to get back though. I have such a great team of people. We had our regular team meeting this afternoon and they gave me a nice card and plant.
Looking forward to working from home tomorrow though.
With that, I’m going to take a nice hot bath and go to bed.
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January 25, 2012
Let’s see, one full day in the office and 1.5 weeks working from home – and I’m ready to get my other hip replaced.
Corporate dysfunction makes me wonder why I am doing what I’m doing. I know everything happens for a reason – including my taking this job a little over a year ago (with a pay cut no less) but it’s incredibly hard to see exactly why – at least at this moment.
Tomorrow is day two in the office and I know I need to keep calm and maintain my focus. I’m taking my amethyst mala beads with me.
I’m sure I’ll need them for a few moments throughout the day.
Thinking that learning to be vulnerable was in the cards for current Life Lessons, I’m now wondering what this is all about.
Facing my total and complete separation from all – including my own physical capacity – has brought on a depression I didn’t expect.
Letting go of the expectations one has of how those who say they care should show it is very, very hard.
of my hip surgery.
The pain has increased significantly and I’m so very grateful to have surgery as an option. I’ve always been so independent and active.
I know when ever Life Lessons are ignored, they always come back around in some shape or form.
My stubborn independence and difficulty being vulnerable is fueling this particular repeat Life Lesson. My facade of bravery is just that, a facade. I’m painfully aware that much of my anxiety stems from fear; fear of being totally and completely dependent on others. Such a hard lesson for me that keeps coming back time and time again.
Today is the 4th Sunday of Advent; I love Advent.
This year, Matt is attending a Christmas party and my dear Ryan just finds it hard to engage in this family ritual when it’s just the two of us.
Alas the cycle of Life.
Here’s our beautiful Advent wreath with presents and tree in the background. I tried to get as much done as I could before going to the hospital tomorrow. Still have one gift on it’s way but generally, Christmas 2011 is ready for us.
On Monday, December 19, 2011, I go to Swedish Orthopedic Institute for hip surgery. Am really excited about it as everyone I’ve talk to has said it made them a ‘new woman’.
I’m so use to being physically able to do pretty much anything I wanted, it’s been really hard to be so limited and in constant pain.
Say a prayer and light a candle for me please.
Speaking of candles, here’s our Advent wreath this year. I so love Advent.
And Matt comes home late tonight – he’s staying in the hospital with me and will be here through the end of the month. *happy smiling face*
I’ve said for a long time that nothing short of a spiritual revolution would lift our society to its truest potential. Umair Hague says the same thing, albeit from a more secular perspective.
Read from the bottom up. When you shake your head in dismay at the imploding chaos of our world – look in the mirror.
If ever a picture epitomizes my memories of camping as a child – this is it. My dad, cooking pancakes for us while we were camping at the beach. For the first time in a long, long time, I find myself wishing I could talk with him.
My brother loved all animals.
Here he’s patiently waiting for the wild blue bird.
Here’s a pic with a wild blue bird sitting, eating out of his hand. Look at the smile on his beautiful face!
I’m working on the pics that Matt digitized and this one is my fav so far.
From left to right Regina (my sister), me, Kevin (my brother) and our cousin Steve
at the San Diego Zoo.
Not sure of year but I’m guessing this was 1962 or 1963 perhaps.
Deborah Cochran wrote why she wants to GetMoneyOut of US politics – it’s the best yet as far as a tactical list goes. Please click on that link and sign the petition. Then add your reasons for wanting the money out of US politics.
I began this campaign last year by posting on AlterNet and the Thom Hartmann Show. I’m so glad you, Mr. Ratigan, have taken up the cause as well. I don’t care WHO gets it done, as long as it does. Here are some other suggestions for the law
1. ALL candidates for public office must take public funding. (The public already pays for corporations and special interests and lobbyists to get their way through exaggerated consumer prices and worker’s wage and benefit cuts, etc., all of which equal profits to spend on skewed elections. We may as well spend our money on fair elections.)
2. ANY CANDIDATE found taking outside money or using his or her own shall be disqualified from the election process immediately and shall suffer an immediate 5 year ban on running for ANY public office. He or she shall also be subject to criminal prosecution for bribery (consequences and replacement/reappointment policy will need to be fleshed out). Or, if he/she is found guilty after election, he/she shall be removed from office and a replacement will be assigned by the sitting mayor, governor, or House Majority leader, depending on the Constitutional rules of succession.
3. Campaigns shall begin NO SOONER THAN 6 WEEKS before the election.
4. ALL candidates shall receive the same amount of public money and shall have an equal amount of free TV/media time. ALL TV/Media must give equal time to ALL candidates or no time to any one candidate. Media that participate according to the law shall receive compensation in the order of a federal Fair Election grant. Those who do not follow the law will be charged no more or no less that one-third of its revenues for one fiscal year. Cost of the fine cannot be passed on to consumers or employees. Fines must be proved to be surrendered by stockholders or from previous years’ profits. Penalties for not paying fines accordingly will put at jeopardy broadcasting licenses and any and all public money/funding for a period of no less or no more than 3 fiscal years.
5. A NON-POLITICAL ELECTED GROUP shall check all political ads for FACTS before airing.
6. NO political ad shall slander another candidate. The content of the ad must contain content that describes the candidate’s position only and vetted facts.
7. REPEAL the recent Supreme Court case Citizen’s United. Corporations are NOT people.
8. County, state, and federal election entities will police this process, through a non-political federally funded elected group. No private business shall have involvement in any stage of the election process.
9. Eliminate the Electoral College: one person, one vote.
10. ALL citizens of the United States shall have the right to vote—even those incarcerated and those prohibited by current laws and barriers. (A way must be found to make certain every legal US citizen of voting age has a vote—one vote.)
11. Eliminate electronic voting, which is open to subversion, unless a paper trail can be established (reference number 8 above).
12. Anyone holding office (and all members of their family: parents, children, siblings, and siblings’ children) shall divest themselves of ALL corporate stock in order to hold office. [Let’s turn public service back into PUBLIC (rather than self-)service.]
13. There shall be a 5 year ban on elected officials taking a paid position with a company/business/subsidiary for which that official has voted for legislation or heard cases that have favorably benefitted said company/business/subsidiary. (Punishment to candidate and company/business/subsidiary will need to fleshed out.)
14. There shall be NO gerrymandering of districts to favor one party over another.
Sincerely,
The Revolutionary Granny
Click on this to read the article from MedScape – a news resource for physicians and other health care practitioners.
Today I was blessed with visiting Jane (my sister-in-law) and Patricia (my mother-in-law). We went to a beautiful service at St Martha’s Catholic church in Murrieta, California.
Patricia taught me a lot about Life and was more of a mom to me than my own mother was; I love her deeply and always will.
I so wish I lived closer so I could see her every day. Look at her beautiful smile!
I woke up this morning – Day Five – of my first solo RV trip to realize that I am truly alone; there’s something about staying in an RV campground to make one realize that being single – solo RV’ing – is an oddity. So I decided to see if I’m so unique.
Nope – I’m definitely an oddity but not unique; at least not unique when it comes to being a single woman and taking off with a 30′ travel trailer in tow. I did a little Google search – (‘Google is my friend’) – and found Trailer Park Nirvana, a woman who sounds as nutsy as I am. It proved to be fascinating reading and I’m even more inspired to keep this up!
I’d still love to find someone special – I’m not dead after all – but in the meantime I’m going to live my life doing what I love!
First solo road trip ever and I’m so excited to get started. While I’ll miss my Road Trip Warrior (aka Ryan), I know this opportunity for us both is important.
Got the surfboard loaded and the trailer washed the night before. Little did I know that the trailer tabs had expired so first thing in the morning, I’ll pick up the new tabs that I just ordered via the web. 
Day One – September 3, 2011
Left the house at 10:30 and by the time I had the tabs, got gas, stopped at the bank and then stopped by the trailer dealer for a lesson on how my awning works, I was on the road by 11:30.
Made it to Grants Pass right at 7 PM and had time to get the trailer set up before dark. NOTE TO SELF – get a flashlight!
Here are two pics of my truck and trailer at the Moon Mountain RV Camp in Grants Pass OR – beautiful campsite – very level – didn’t even disconnect the truck. I’ll have to remember this place – very, very nice and the owners are warm and friendly.
My beautiful Bianchi Milano Cafe Racer is ready to go too! The bike rack for the trailer ladder works great!
During Day 1 drive, the ABS light came on. Quick email to Blake (my mechanic) and I know there’s nothing to worry about.
Day Two – September 4, 2011
Day 2 I work up about 7:30 and was ready to pull out at 8:30. Blake said to check brake fluid – it’s full so I’m on the road again!
Found a Chevron station – no diesel – but the lovely gentlemen there pointed me to one with easy access for my truck/trailer and yes indeed; it was just where he said it would be.
And of course, when I asked the lovely older gentlemen there about the brake fluid, he asked if my ABS light came on. Oh yes, I said. He told me he had a truck just like mine and that would happen in the heat when he was using the “tow/haul” feature. This confirmed what Blake had told me so I was grateful for the blessing of confirmation. And the ABS light isn’t on today at all.
Coming down the hill, Mt Shasta was breathtaking – even in the haze.
Not sure where I’ll be staying tonight – I’m thinking I’ll head to 101 and take the scenic route.
More later.
Decided to go to 101 from Redding. Hwy 299 was the most scenic route I’ve seen – ever! It took almost all day but oh my gosh – it was BEAUTIFUL!! Here’s a pic of Whiskeytown Lake which is 8 miles west of Redding.
Have I said I love my truck yet?? Well….. I really love my truck! It handled the winding mountain roads with that heavy trailer like nothing was there! And of course, the ABS light never came on again.
I decided to find a place to stay before it got dark. Angels abound and led me to the Riverwalk RV Park in Fortuna, CA. Nice level spot with full hook ups!
The coastal weather is moving in now – I so love the California coast!! I can feel it’s Spirit in my Soul. It’s going to be chilly tonight – and I forgot a jacket. So I’m going to bundle down in my cozy home-away-from-home.
And I didn’t even text or call Ryan once today! He needs a ‘vacation’ from Mom too!
Matt’s surfboard fit nicely on the side of my bedroom in the trailer. That was a huge relief! I was so worried about how I was going to get it down to him.
Day 2 has been extraordinary! More tomorrow….
Day Three – September 5, 2011
I am getting an early start today as my destination is Malibu and I’m wayyyyy up in Northern California. 11+ hour drive but all along the coast so I’m excited to get started. More later.
Very long day. Just got back from seeing Matt and Marley. Surfboard has been transferred and Matt and I watched the latest episode of Breaking Bad. I’ve got a few pics to share but will upload them in the morning – gotta sleep.
Here are the pics from Day Three’s adventure. The drive from the very northern part of California (Fortuna) was beautiful. Driving through the Humboldt Redwoods State Park reminded me of a camping trip we went on with my dad and my Uncle Bernie and his family in Sequoia National Park. As a kid, I remember being awestruck at the sheer size of the gigantic redwood trees and they took my breath away today too.
In the midst of this natural environment rests a little tourist site that I just had to stop and visit – if only to get pics!
I can only imagine the Life Story of the person who decided to plant themselves in the midst of this wondrous natural environment!
I arrived at Day Three’s campground – Malibu Beach RV Park
at 9 PM so it was dark. When I made my reservation, I choose to reserve an “ocean view” site; it was a little more expensive but it sounded incredibly nice. Anyway, arriving in the dark, I asked the young woman if the spot was ‘easy to get into’; she assured me it was.
Well, imagine trying to back my 30 foot trailer into this site! Go too far and you’re over the cliff! No thank you!
I requested a ‘pull through’ spot since I was only staying one night and she was very accommodating.
The view from the campground is extraordinary! Ever since I was small, I’ve loved the ocean. Camping at the state beach parks with Kyle, my dad, brother and sister brings back so many fond memories. As I grew older and was on my own, I use to put Sarah – my precious cockapoo – in my backpack and ride my bike from Hollywood down to the ocean via Sunset Boulevard. This was when I lived on Hillhurst Avenue just south of Franklin in a little cottage apartment. I was 21 years old and I remember being so very poor; my rent took most of my income so I had a space in the back of the cottage about 5 feet by 3 feet where I grew zucchini. I can cook zucchini a thousand different ways!
A pic from Day three campsite.
A huge RV just pulled along side me and now I can’t see the ocean from my trailer so I guess it’s time to pack out and head out to my Long Beach RV park where I’ll be staying until the 13th! Whew…. it’s been a long journey just getting down here but I’ve learned so much about myself and what I’m capable of. It will be so nice to plant the trailer and myself for a good long week at the beach.
Day Four – September 6, 2011
Before going to my Long Beach RV park, I went to Camping World and bought a few little things I needed for the trailer. Since this is the first long trip with her, I’m finding little things I need so it was nice to find a Camping World not too far from Long Beach.
I arrived at Golden Shores RV Park around noon and even though check in isn’t until two, they let me check in. The spot I have is right next to the pool but since most of the people here are full time RV’ers who live here, it’s not used too much so it isn’t noisy. I was able to back the trailer in just fine with plenty of room for my truck. I set up the awning without any difficulty at all. I also found a nice spot to park my bike when I’m here and keep it locked up too; I bring it in the trailer when I leave and at night, of course.
Looks like Matt is pretty busy with work this week; he wants to have a sit down talk which means he’s got a lot on his mind.
Tomorrow I’ll definitely be going for a bike ride. There’s a lovely beach bike path that runs right along the RV park and Matt just asked if we could meet for a late dinner after he gets done with work. Sounds like a wonderful vacation day for sure!
Day Five – September 7, 2011
I so love my campsite here! Woke up this morning and made coffee. Checked in with Kyle and Jane and got on my bike for a ride on the beach. The bike path is perfect!
I rode for 10 miles in total; from my campsite to Belmont Veterans Memorial Pier.
The guy in the red swim shorts is actually middle age (whoa – look at that bod!) and smiled and said hello to me. *blush*
The beaches were almost empty – it being a Wednesday and all. And yes, I had to think twice to remember what day it was!
This solar powered boat was stowed just off the pier – really odd looking for sure.
And this beautiful Light House reminded me of Pat (Mark’s mom) who I so hope I can visit with while I’m here. I love her so much; I know she would love this picture too.
And I’m always reminded by something that I run across of my own Life Purpose; for some reason, this photo of a lone ocean bird on the round buoy gave me pause and reason to reflect ever deeper.
On the agenda for the rest of today is relaxing, reading and a late supper with Matt and Marley!
After some jockeying around with plans – we finally met up at a Korean BBQ place – which was very good! Here’s Matt and Marley.
Day Six – September 8, 2011
Another incredibly hot day. Part of the bike path was closed due to some tv/film making activity so I found myself on a side road where I stumbled upon this beautiful sea bird; who let me get quite close! Queen Mary is in the background.
I finally found the “bike path detour” and stopped to lounge on the grass by the light house and watch the pelicans dive into the ocean after fish. The Queen Mary was across the channel and I really wanted to figure out how to get over there.
There is a bridge with a bike path that worked perfectly. Because it was Thursday, there were very few people around. The Queen Mary is a hotel/tourist attraction – with quite a history. Funny how I lived here for years and never thought of seeing it – now I want to go inside – but don’t think I want to enough to pay the high cost!
Planning to visit Kyle Friday.
Day Seven – September 9, 2011
The weather up until today has been 90+; it’s been nice and cool in my home-away-from-home thanks to the AC but I love open windows and fresh air. This morning dawned like a whole new season! It was mid-70′s and very pleasant. Windows open and lots of fresh air!
Kyle and Larry drove down from Fontana today, along with their cute grandson – Alan.
We had a terrific time catching up. Went for lunch at Shoreline Village (Chili’s) and then spent some time back at the ranch (my travel trailer) where Larry fixed the TV for me – woo hoo!
Kyle and I’ve known each other since 7th grade – let’s see – that’s like over 40 years!!
Love and miss her so much!
Day Eight – September 10, 2011
Thunder and lightening plus some showers this morning. Had to adjust the awning because it was acting as a rain barrel with the way it was set up. Who would have thought I would run into rain here! LOL
On today’s agenda is a pedicure this morning, followed by a trip to a local book store for some browsing and then I’m off to Regina’s for some wonderful home cooking! Matt, Marley, Vincent and Amber will be there too.
More later………
Regina cooked THE best meal I’ve had in a very long time! It was so much fun to see Vincent and meet his lovely GF Amber.
Matt and Marley made it out too and we worked on getting Dad’s slides into a digital format that both Regina and I can work with. I’m going to work on doing some of the correcting and then will send Regina the thumb drives with the slides all converted to digital format with the views correct. Wow… what a trip down memory lane too. Here’s one of the pics that I found that I particularly love; it’s my brother Kevin’s 7th birthday picture. I’m 8 and Regina is 5. I love how Regina is so happy here and you can see Kevin concentrating on holding his birthday cake perfectly. Kevin died when he was 23; not a day goes by that I don’t think of him.
Day Nine – Sunday, September 11, 2011
Ten years ago today many innocent men, women and children were murdered by terrorists who attacked us using hijacked airplanes. God bless and keep everyone impacted by that terrible tragedy. Our country has changed so much since then.
Day Ten – Monday, September 12, 2011
So much to process about today that I’m going to wait until I can sort through my feelings.
I was working hard at fixing the old photo slides my Dad took of us that Matt turned into digital images and decided to drive up to LA to see my child hood home. I met the woman living there and when I explained who I was and what the house meant to me, she allowed me to come in and take photos.
So much to process about that.
I’ve been here a week and have only seen Matt 3 times and we didn’t have a chance to really talk at all; so much to process about that too.
Heading home early tomorrow – hope to be home by Thursday evening so I have a 3 day weekend to rest.
More later.
Day Eleven – Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Left Long Beach after a bit of a struggle (my own fault) hooking up the trailer. I didn’t notice that the anti-sway bar was preventing the hitch from fully locking until I fiddled with it for quite a while. I felt pretty silly when I saw that the anti-sway bar was touching the ground and preventing the hitch from fully engaging. *rolls eyes*
I hit the 710 about 9 AM which turned out ok as it meant I was a bit behind the morning rush hour. I did hit a bit of stop and go traffic on the 405 near LAX but other than that, it was a pretty smooth exit.
I never imagined I’d make it all the way to Redding, CA but I did. I’m staying at the Durango RV Resort in Red Bluff CA – which is just a few miles south of Redding. I arrived after hours but they have a night host who was very helpful in getting me set up in my nice, level pull-through spot.
I may just be able to make it home by Wednesday evening – which will be nice.
I’m still processing the whole trip as far as Matt is concerned, as well as being given the opportunity to see my childhood home and take photos. I’ll do a separate post about both at some point.
All and all, it’s been a very relaxing trip. I love my trailer – it’s so nice to have your ‘home’ with you. I also enjoyed having so much time to just enjoy the beach – that was a very pleasant surprise.
Home – Day Twelve – Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Thirteen hours and 15 minutes from Red Bluff, CA to Covington, WA. Whew….. My feet are swollen and I’m ready to relax and then go to bed. Will be posting some photos of my childhood home – then and now in a separate post soon!
Shamelessly copied from Matt’s facebook (amazing wisdom from the most unexpected source). My favs are highlighted.
88 Important Truths About Life
by Pablo Popovitch on Tuesday, August 16, 2011 at 8:40pm1. You can’t change other people, and it’s rude to try.
2. It is a hundred times more difficult to burn calories than to refrain from consuming them in the first place.
3. If you’re talking to someone you don’t know well, you may be talking to someone who knows way more about whatever you’re talking about than you do.
4. The cheapest and most expensive models are usually both bad deals.
5. Everyone likes somebody who gets to the point quickly.
6. Bad moods will come and go your whole life, and trying to force them away makes them run deeper and last longer.
7. Children are remarkably honest creatures until we teach them not to be.
8. If everyone in the TV show you’re watching is good-looking, it’s not worth watching.
9. Yelling always makes things worse.
10. Whenever you’re worried about what others will think of you, you’re really just worried about what you’ll think of you.
11. Every problem you have is your responsibility, regardless of who caused it.
12. You never have to deal with more than one moment at a time.
13. If you never doubt your beliefs, then you’re wrong a lot.
14. Managing one’s wants is the most powerful skill a person can learn.
15. Nobody has it all figured out.
16. Cynicism is far too easy to be useful.
17. Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.
18. Whenever you hate something, it hates you back: people, situations and inanimate objects alike.
19. Ralph Waldo Emerson’s works alone can teach you everything you need to know about living with grace and happiness.
20. People embellish everything, as a rule.
21. Anger reveals weakness of character, violence even more so.
22. Humans cannot destroy the planet, but we can destroy its capacity to keep us alive. And we are.
23. When people are uncomfortable with the present moment, they fidget with their hands or their minds. Watch and see.
24. Those who complain the most, accomplish the least.
25. Putting something off makes it instantly harder and scarier.
26. Credit card debt devours souls.
27. Nobody knows more than a minuscule fraction of what’s going on in the world. It’s just way too big for any one person to know it well.
28. Most of what we see is only what we think about what we see.
29. A person who is unafraid to present a candid version of herself to the world is as rare as diamonds.
30. The most common addiction in the world is the draw of comfort. It wrecks dreams and breaks people.
31. If what you’re doing feels perfectly safe, there is probably a better course of action.
32. The greatest innovation in the history of humankind is language.
33. Blame is the favorite pastime of those who dislike responsibility.
34. Everyone you meet is better than you at something.
35. Proof is nothing but a collection of opinions that match your own.
36. Knowledge is belief, nothing more.
37. Indulging your desires is not self-love.
38. What makes human beings different from animals is that animals can be themselves with ease.
39. Self-examination is the only path out of misery.
40. Whoever you are, you will die. To know and understand that means you are alive.
41. Revenge is for the petty and irresponsible.
42. Getting truly organized can vastly improve anyone’s life.
43. Almost every cliché contains a truth so profound that people have been compelled to repeat it until it makes you roll your eyes. But the wisdom is still in there.
44. People cause suffering when they are suffering themselves. Alleviating their suffering will help them not hurt others.
45. High quality is worth any quantity, in possessions, friends and experiences.
46. The world would be a better place if everyone read National Geographic.
47. If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy in a relationship.
48. Even if it costs no money, nothing is free if it takes time.
49. Emotions exist to make us strongly biased towards or against something. This hinders as often as it helps.
50. Addiction is a much greater problem in society than it’s made out to be. It’s present in every person in various forms, but usually we call it something else.
51. “Gut feeling” is not just a euphemism. Tension in the abdomen speaks volumes about how you truly feel about something, beyond all arguments and rationales.
52. Posture and dress change profoundly how you feel about yourself and how others feel about you, like it or not.
53. Everyone thinks they’re an above average driver.
54. The urge to punish others has much more to do with venting frustration than correcting behavior.
55. By default, people think far too much.
56. If anything is worth splurging on, it’s a high-quality mattress. You’ll spend a third of your life using it.
57. There is nothing worse than having no friends.
58. To write a person off as worthless is an act of great violence.
59. Try as we might to be otherwise, we are all hypocrites.
60. Justice is a human invention which is in reality rarely achievable, but many will not hesitate to destroy lives demanding it.
61. Kids will usually understand exactly what you mean if you keep it to one or two short sentences.
62. Stuff that’s on sale usually has an annoying downside.
63. Casual swearing makes people sound dumb.
64. Words are immensely powerful. One cruel remark can wound someone for life.
65. It’s easy to make someone’s day just by being uncommonly pleasant to them.
66. Most of what children learn from their parents isn’t taught on purpose.
67. The secret ingredient is usually butter, in obscene amounts.
68. It is worth re-trying foods that you didn’t like at first.
69. Problems, when they arise, are rarely as painful as the experience of fearing them.
70. Nothing — ever — happens exactly like you pictured it.
71. North Americans are generally terrible at accepting compliments and offers of help.
72. There are not enough women in positions of power. The world has suffered from this deficit for a long time.
73. When you break promises to yourself, you feel terrible. When you make a habit of it, you begin to hate yourself.
74. A good nine out of ten bad things I’ve worried about never happened. A good nine out of ten bad things that did happen never occurred to me to worry about.
75. You can’t hide a bad mood from people who know you well, but you can always be polite.
76. Sometimes you have to remove certain people from your life, even if they’re family.
77. Anyone can be calmed in an instant by looking at the ocean or the stars.
78. There is no point finishing a book you aren’t enjoying. Life is too short for that. Swallow your pride and put it down for good, unfinished.
79. There is no correlation between the price of a brand of batteries and how long they last.
80. Breaking new ground only takes a small amount more effort than you’re used to giving.
81. Life is a solo trip, but you’ll have lots of visitors. Some of them are long-term, most aren’t.
82. One of the best things you can do for your kids is take them on road trips. I’m not a parent, but I was a kid once.
83. The fewer possessions you have, the more they do for you.
84. Einstein was wiser than he was intelligent, and he was a genius.
85. When you’re sick of your own life, that’s a good time to pick up a book.
86. Wishing things were different is a great way to torture yourself.
87. The ability to be happy is nothing other than the ability to come to terms with how things change.
88. Killing time is an atrocity. It’s priceless, and it never grows back.
Please click on the above link to Dylan Ratigan Mad As Hell – His Epic Network Moment
And if for some reason that is removed, here’s the transcript.
Dylan Ratigan, Mad as Hell: His Epic “Network” Moment
August 9, 2011We’ve got a real problem…this is a mathematical fact. Tens of trillions of dollars are being extracted from the United States of America. Democrats aren’t doing it, republicans aren’t doing it, an entire integrated system, banking, trade and taxation, created by both parties over a period of two decades is at work on our entire country right now.
Show Transcript
Dylan: What are you talking about $4 trillion?
Karen: $4 trillion, I’m saying…
Dylan: We owe $70 trillion. [cross-talking 04:29] a $4 trillion solution, which is basically just a way for the Democrats to avoid dealing with this until 2017. I’m not here to talk about plans to deal with this till 2017. I’m saying we’ve got a real problem, and I’m tired of Republicans and Democrats who either want – Republicans who want to burn the place to the ground and Democrats, with all due respect, who want to offer a plan that gets it through the end of their second term of their presidency, and then screws me and my kids when it’s over! And until we do that, we have to deal with the extraction that is at foot, it is the reason the financial markets are behaving the way they’re behaving, it is a mathematical fact! This is not some opinion; this is a mathematical fact. Tens of trillions of dollars are being extracted from the United States of America. Democrats aren’t doing it, Republicans are not doing it, an entire integrated system, financial system, trading system, taxing system, that was created by both parties over a period of two decades is at work on our entire country right now. And we’re sitting here arguing about whether we should do the $4 trillion plan that kicks the can down the road for the President for 2017, or burn the place to the ground, both of which are reckless, irresponsible, and stupid. And the fact of the matter is until we actually, and I’m sorry to lose my temper, but I tell you what, I’ve been coming on TV for three years doing this, and the fact of the matter is that there’s a refusal on both the Democratic and the Republican side of the aisle to acknowledge the mathematical problem, which is that the United States of America is being extracted. It’s being extracted through banking, it’s being extracted through trade, and it’s being extracted through taxation, and there’s not a single politician that has stepped forward, Susan, to deal with this.
Susan: Yeah, but there’s only one right now, the leader of the free world, whether you like it or not, the President of the United States is arguably one of the most powerful individuals we have out there, and he’s our President.
Karen: But, Susan, what you’re saying is exactly the point that Dylan is making. It’s not about one guy; it’s about all of them.
Susan: No, I actually disagree. I think Dylan – it is about one guy.
Dylan: I agree with her. It is about one guy.
Karen: What would you like him to do? What do you want him to do?
Dylan: I would like him to go to the people of the United States of America and say, “People of the United States of America, your Congress is bought, your Congress is incapable of making legislation on healthcare, banking, trade, or taxes because if they do it, they will lose their political funding and they won’t do it. But I’m the President of the United States, and I won’t have a country that is run by a bought Congress. So I’m not going to work with a bought Congress and try to be Mr. Big Guy, ‘I’m working with a bought Congress’, I’m going to abandon the bought Congress like Teddy Roosevelt did, and I’m going to go to the people of the United States and I’m going to say, ‘You’ve got a bought Congress,” and until we get rid of the bought Congress, which is Jimmy Williams constant point, which is get the money out of politics, and until a President says that’s the problem and says he’s going to fix it, there is no policy that I can possibly see no matter how brilliant your idea may be or your idea or my idea or her idea or your idea at home, is that idea will not happen as long as there’s a capacity to basically fire a politician who disagrees with me by taking funding away from him. Is that a fair assessment?
Jimmy: Money in politics is the root of all political evil. It is corruption at its worst. And until we step up and kick that out of the park, it’s going to be the same system all the way.
Dylan: And only the President can do that.
Jimmy: No, no, no, Congress has to do it, too. Congress has to do it, too.
Dylan: But I’ll tell you what, how bad does it have to get? How much money has to be extracted? How many things have to be heard?
Karen: [cross-talking 07:59] tax. Okay, physically, what do you do?
Dylan: You go and give a speech to…
Karen: Right now.
Dylan: Yeah, right now. You say…
Karen: And then what happens tomorrow?
Dylan: Tomorrow, what happens is you begin the process of actually investing in solving the problems, so I come out and I say, “How?” I create an infrastructure bank with 2% blending immediately. There’s – once I explain to people the problem, once I explain to you that you have cancer, once you understand how screwed up your trade, tax, and banking policies are, believe me, you will have no issue when I incorporate an infrastructure bank that I fund with repatriated offshore money that I bring in and then use to create 2% direct lending to every business in America because when you realize that the banking system is fully corrupt and defrauding us, and I come out and say that, which is what I want my President to do, then at that exact moment I say, “You know what, we’ve got a screwed up situation here, people. You all know it, and now I’m going to admit it.” And as a result, not only have I admitted it, but we’re going to begin the process of solving it like grown ups. They did in World War II, they did it after the Civil War, they did it in Latin America with the Brady Bond; we are not seeing it happen now.
The panel stays a little more emotional than I anticipated getting at work this afternoon, but what am I going to do? The middle-class attempting to fight back in Wisconsin…what today’s big recall election in Wisconsin tells us about the mood in America; Ed Shultz joins us. And then Wisconsin, the jumping off point for our latest blog on DylanRatigan.com, as Wisconsin is a state where two-thirds of corporations pay zilch in taxes, while teachers and cops pick up the slack. That doesn’t sound like fun.
My Father was an extraordinary man.
He raised us by himself at a time when men didn’t do that. He wasn’t perfect; far from it. But he loved us and always tried to do what he thought was right.
I am deeply grateful to have had him for my father. And in honor of him this Father’s Day, I’m sharing this video as it reminds me of how my Dad took care of my brother, Kevin, until he died at age 23.
25 years ago today, I was blessed with bringing Ryan Hickney into the world.
He’s an incredibly beautiful Soul; sensitive, often shy with new people, kind, compassionate, trustworthy, helpful and very, very resourseful when he sets his mind to it! He’s also the bravest Soul I know! He’s had so many challenges and he’s never given up. He is 1/2 of my legacy and I’m deeply proud of him!
This is Matt’s short film documentary – “LISA”
I think it is one of his best so far.
Click on the word “LISA” to watch it.
